I'm an avid reader and reviewer of romance books, especially m-m and erotica. You can find me on http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4669232-baba-marcus-tyler-tate-dan-ty-hunter
1 star.*Review posted September 1, 2013
The different stages of my state of mind while reading Baby Girl (not necessarily in this order). It's self-explanatory.
I'll be ruthlessly candid, coz I have nothing positive to say about Baby Girl.
In a nutshell
Here we go again! Erik is buying a new BMW (yes, the man is kinda loaded in every sense of the word and he enjoys buying new cars on a regular cycle), when he meets the oh-so natural beauty Kelli who is the daughter of the car shop owner. One intent look and Erik knows what he wants. Erik is determined to break Kelli's spirit. He is not arrogant, he is just confident and knows his capacities and abilities. Baba: As if!
"(…)I intend to ruin you. Provide you with feelings and levels of satisfaction that you have never seen, and will never, in my absence, see again. This level of satisfaction, this degree of feeling…it will ruin you. Ruin you from ever being satisfied by another man the way I satisfy you. Once you realize that you're ruined, I will own you."
Yes, everything's under control. Erik has never been in a relationship. He claims he is not a man-whore since he is very selective on who he is seeing fucking. To be honest, the talk about breaking her spirit and ruining her was kinda OTT. Well, I guess when your opposite is such an immature, needy and susceptible girl then it's a piece of cake after all.
I love great dirty talk but what I got here was a turn off. Also, I really get it that you can call each other weird names during a play scene. However, Erik calling Kelli baby girl all the time creeped the hell outta me.
When Kelli was 15 and realized that she had no gag reflex, she started to suck cock as often as possible and she loved it. So, when Kelli met Erik she was pretty much awe-struck. She wanted to please him all the time and she hung on his every word. She thought that Erik was a dream come true. In fact, he was larger than life. From her perspective that might have been true, but mine differs greatly.
Let me summarize. I think that Kelli is a shallow slut and a dumb twat. And Erik came across as a pompous ass with a huge ego. As I see it, he is also a slimy creep.
And here comes an absolutely needless self-advertisement that annoyed me tremendously.
"What are you reading?" I asked. I always liked knowing what types of books people read. It told a lot about them.
"Broken People. It's a freaking masterpiece. This is the third time I have read it. I'm highlighting quotes in it," she responded as she powered the Kindle on.
"Haven't heard of it," I said as I reached into my pocket for my keys.
"You have to read it, it's the most powerful, moving, and inspiring book I have ever read. (…)"
"Read the book, Erik. And I will be ready," she responded.
"Broken People got it. Author?"
"Scott Hildreth," she responded.
In this context it's pretentious and a no go.
Erik indulging himself in playing psychologist (oops, sorry, he is a bike-riding "qualified" shrink) and philosopher regarding the aspects of upbringing, sexuality, relationships and love did not sit well with me, because his behavior came across as patronizing, condescending and unappealing. BTW, Oepidus complex is called Oedipus complex. I guess the proofreader took a little break on a regular basis. I find that incredibly embarrassing.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Erik is so full of himself, it's not even healthy anymore. He loves verbal self-masturbation. Instant gratification guaranteed.
The writing felt very stilted. It was also repetitive because certain things are mentioned several times (their upbringing and the consequences thereof, issues with their parents, relationships and love). Besides, I couldn't for the life of me connect with the characters. I'll be honest, even a simple fuck must evoke some kind of emotion in me, otherwise a story won't hold my interest. With that said, it is very unfortunate that not even the sex resonated with me because that's the heart of an erotic story after all.
(…)Working the lotion up my thighs, I flexed my butt muscles as I rubbed in the lotion. Hard as a rock. My ass felt so good in my hands. I got another dab of lotion from the bottle, and slid both my hands in between my cheeks, allowing my pinky fingers to slide against my pussy. I loved the smell of lotions and soaps, and this lotion from Bed Bath and Beyond almost brought me to climax. I could remember what public places had the best soap, based on the smell. I always smelled my hands after I washed them in public.
Uh-huh, must be a very special lotion. There is a lot of information that didn't interest me in the least.
Baby Girl is in dire need of better proofreading! I must say it was irritating to no end, even appalling how many mistakes I have found. And I'm not even a native English speaker. Here are some samples. Keep in mind there are many more:
SITUATION AS PER AUGUST 30, 2013
They / they're
Watching your mouth move and, and hearing the words…
bu / but
nickmanes / nicknames
Oepidus / Oedipus
were / we're
they woman leave
it didn't set well with me
fight / fit (by all means, a T-shirt fits a body, it doesn't fight it)
don not turn around
The burned when I stood
I imagined the she threw it down
His removed his shirt
(…)and mover her right arm toward the pillow
I QUOTE (FROM THE BLURB)
My novel, Broken People stands as a testament that I can produce a masterpiece. Critical acclaim from around the world. IN TWO MONTHS. It was, and remains controversial. Baby Girl is also a masterpiece. It is, however, real.
A masterpiece riddled with plenty of errors. It's incredibly shoddy!
I'm actually pretty sure that the blurb has been edited since I started reading the book. I can't remember that I have read such an extensive blurb.
They are horny all the time. The day I don't have to hear cum for me anymore cannot come soon enough.
"Listen to me, baby girl. Listen. Cum on me. Cum all over my cock. Cum for me, baby girl. I want you to cum. Cum for me," he whispered into my ear as he continued to push himself deeper inside of me.
I never liked the heroine in the first place. BUT. When this was on her mind... Kids--I fucking hate kids ... I was so done with her. It's all right to not want kids. You may say you don't like kids in general. But you don't say (or think) I fucking hate kids.
Erik said: "(…)No lying. No trying to tell me what I want to hear. I can't stand kids. Kids make my skin crawl. The thought of children makes me ill."
"Okay, I am sorry. I lied. I hate kids too. They make me sick, and that will never change," I said, relieved. (Kelli)
Kelli, here comes a friendly advice for free. Oh, and Erik, you should strain your ears too coz you kinda make me ill as well.
Hatred is a very strong word and before you open your mouth to spill your stupid remarks you should think twice. You're a dumb little slut.
Yeah, baby girl, you still have a lot to learn; you are immature. Two people loved each other enough to procreate you. You were a beloved baby a long time ago and I doubt that your parents thought or said that they fucking hate kids!?!
Kids are our future. Kids are future payers of our tax-financed pension system, at least that's the case where I'm living. I feel bad for saying that because kids are so much more. They are love, life and happiness yet at the same time I know they mean a lot of responsibility and they are the source of more than a few sorrows and problems. Even though they are a daily challenge, I believe they are so worth it. Let's do this the other way round. Is it all right when I say I fucking hate you???
Here is another "nice" sample. They were talking about the young clerk:
"Do you know her?" Erik asked.
"No, I just hate high school girls," I said, now wondering how Erik might respond.
"So do I, baby girl, so do I."
Baba: Yeah, Erik, it's no biggie after all. *facepalm*
Erik and Kelli are having sex in a clothes shop and then our heroine (I use the term heroine only loosely) has the glorious idea to wipe off the cum with a pair of jeans. Guess what? She took the jeans to the clerk and said:
"These fit funny," I said, handing her the dirty jeans I was holding in my hand. "So, you may want to check them for correct sizing."
GROSS. Hmm…I wonder why I feel so grossed out...
Aaaaand they bought a clean pair of jeans.
Who's the bitch, huh?
"Who owns you, baby girl? Who fucking owns you?" he almost screamed.
"Oh God, you do. You own me. You."
"Don't forget it, do you hear me?" he said in a loud, stern tone.
"Yes, I am yours. You own me," I responded. I loved this.
Yep, these two deserve each other. I wholeheartedly agree.
This was so disappointing. Not Erik, but me. I was so disappointed in myself that I didn't make him cum that day in the car. How stupid am I? (…)
Kelli, I couldn't care less if you made him cum or not but I have to agree. You are stupid and insecure with a couple of daddy issues.
Amazing trains of thought…
Who would have him and not spend every moment of every day wanting to fuck him? Who would not be fucking him every moment that he is around? I want to fuck him a lot more than he wants to fuck me. I wish he fucked me all the time. In the house, in the elevator, in the car, in the parking garage, in the parking lot, at the store. I love fucking him.
Bobby pins or no bobby pins?
Fat. I am so fat. Erik's a doctor, he will know if they can put my thigh fat into my butt. I bet they can.
No bobby pins, he can't run his fingers through my hair when I have in bobby pins.
As a little reminder…life in general has more to offer than fucking your brains out.
Oh, and Kelli, Erik is NOT a plastic surgeon. But I'm sure he would explain the psychological effects of the surgery to your full satisfaction.
I found myself, when talking to him, to be more conscious of my words, more conscious of how I said things. Not necessarily what I was saying, but how I said it. He was intelligent, very intelligent, but he did not act like it (Baba: he didn't come across as such an intelligent man, more like someone who loved verbal self-masturbation; sorry for the repeat). He dressed like a younger guy, rode a motorcycle, and tried to speak like he was just one of many other men in this city. By just naturally being Erik, he reeked of his intelligence. (Baba: Hell yes, I can smell his intelligence. Sorry for being sarcastic). I felt like such an idiot around him (not I, that was Kelli speaking). I tried to choose my words carefully not to embarrass him or me (Baba: Uh-huh, I saw what a failure you are, Kelli). This was so unlike me. I was almost always the smartest person in the room (Baba: Seriously?), and always the smartest girl (Baba: maybe if your are the only girl in the world). Around him, I felt so small, so vulnerable. *insert major eye roll moment*
Kelli…Kelli…you conceited…um…I better stop now.
Towards the end of the story we have a somewhat melodramatic and very awkward sob party provided by Kelli. She lost her ability to speak.
"Think with your head, baby girl, not your heart."
I extended my arm toward him, my fist clenched. My arm was shaking, I was crying, and trying to catch my breath. I held my arm out as flat as I could, and opened my index finger and pointed at Erik.
"Me?" he asked.
"You want me?"
I nodded again, sobbing. Over and over I nodded, my finger pointing to Erik.
"And you want me?"
I leaned toward him, touched my finger to his chest and pressed hard, sobbing and nodding my head.
Overall Baby Girl was a huge disappointment and a failure all along the line. I love erotica books in general and great BDSM books in particular. I must say, however, that Baby Girl is far from being a fabulous read. Therefore I can't recommend it.
Again, this is my opinion and my review reflects my thoughts and feelings. Don't let my opinion put you off. Maybe it's just me and not the book. Good luck and happy reading!
Baby Girl contains explicit sex and language, incl. sex in public and voyeurism.
I wouldn't classify this book as BDSM though. A couple of yes, sirs and a slap on the ass hardly qualify as BDSM.
Since Baby Girl is the first book in a series I *suppose* the BDSM elements will be much more present in the sequels.
P.S. The MCs have had many sexual partners over the years. I am beyond amazed that these two did not find it necessary to talk about STDs, and it goes without saying that they didn't use condoms either.