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Baba

Reading is like breathing...

I'm an avid reader and reviewer of romance books, especially m-m and erotica. You can find me on http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4669232-baba-marcus-tyler-tate-dan-ty-hunter 

Dafuck!?!?!

Training Season - Leta Blake

0 stars. DNF at 70 %. Full review posted December 17, 2013. I'm sorry but when an enema and shittin' in front of your partner is considered healing then I'm truly allowed to bitch.

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Je m'excuse, Stéphane, I know that you are not like Matty. Still, you have to suck it up because you're an excellent figure skater and a former two-time world champion. Plus, you're a fellow Swiss citizen and gay. Fits the bill. This bling bling gif depicts Matty...

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Eight songs later, he had glitter body paint smeared on his chest, his eyes done up in brilliant blues and greens, and bright, cotton-candy pink lipstick on his lips. Wearing only his track pants and the gold sequined vest, he was far from fierce, but still shiny, and that made him feel almost as good. 

I should have hit Rob over the head with that stone...

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There is no nice way to say it. Before you engage in such a dangerous kink like (view spoiler) you must have an extensive prep talk. What Rob did was so incredibly idiotic and risky, words simply fail me. This scene made me f@cking mad!!!

"Now, if you want me to stop, then snap your fingers three times, okay?" Rob, it would have been nice if you'd told Matty that was his safeword. Ugh. Despite Matty's panic and not being prepared at all, he just loved it! I still have to shake my head. No biggie though, it's only fiction, and I'm sure that nobody will be so stupid and imitate that crap. You know what I mean? We all have a role model function and in this case this screams big fat failure.

"Shh, I've got you. Trust me. I'd never hurt you." 

Like I mentioned in my update, my best friend could tell me to trust her and then we'd do a bungee jump without any further instructions because she would never hurt me and she would catch me if I fell. I can't help being sarcastic. Besides, the icing on the f@cked up cake was when Rob ROMANTICIZED that idiotic kink by saying:

"Do you see the North Star? Wherever you are, whenever you see that, you'll think of this. You'll think of me here with you, taking care of you, and you'll never forget. Do you understand? 

Hell yes, I got it. Not.

I was wondering too…I actually thought Rob must be psychic...

"I guess I was wondering how you knew I'd be into that. Into being kinky like that. It's like you've known from the beginning. Do I just scream kink monster, or did you know some other way?"
"I didn't know until we were in the middle of it, I guess."
 
*insert major eye roll moment*
"Have you ever done something like that before?"
"Yes."
"When?"
(…)
"After my folks died, it was the first time I really felt free to explore who I was sexually. (…)
 


And we have another of those cases: taking care of psychological issues through BDSM kink. Mind you, it's not only a little bit of ass slapping though.

An incredibly well written and definitely erotic (view spoiler) can be found in Power Exchange by A.J. Rose. I'd say he clearly knew what he did when he wrote this particular scene.

Matty wears a mink. I could have posted a real nasty pic of a livestock breeding but I thought we should better look at something cute. Yet we all know what that means.  photo ef66fc08-4403-4541-878e-bea36b9dab66_zps2145594d.png

"Not much," Matty said, wiping at his eyes, and trying to recover, but he couldn't stop laughing. "Nothing that I can repeat in front of a child. It's far too graphic. And not in the good way."
"Are you saying Figure Skating screwed you in the ass without any lube?" Ben asked.
 


As a side note
Ben is twelve (12). And Matty…hmm…not sure if he's an adult.

DAFUCK? My thirteen-year-old clearly lacks some vital life experience because such nonsense would never come out of his mouth.

Matty plastered an understanding smile on his face, because of course they couldn't fuck with Ben in the house. Matty was very loud after all. But it was still intensely disappointing. Is a quick mutual jerk off out of the question? 

Guess what they are going to do? Yep, on the porch of Mr. Lovely's house Rob is going to jerk Matty off. Hey, no biggie, they are not in the house and Matty was so damn HORNY, after all. He really needed that.

"I never realized watching a figure skater eat would be such a sexy experience," Rob said. "I can't explain this, but I am so turned on right now." 

Come again?

And then…

Matty dropped the spoon in the empty bowl with a clatter and met Rob's eyes. His cock was hard, and he felt hot all over, inside and out. "I am too."
"Just tell me, yes or no."
Matty swallowed hard, and he turned sideways in the chair, spreading his legs a little. "Yes. God yes. Please."
 


Please spare me.

Rob was on the floor between his thighs before Matty could say another word. He pushed Matty's track pants down, and Matty gasped and hunched over Rob's head when he sucked Matty's cock into his mouth. It was hot and wet, and so fucking good. Rob sucked even better than he kissed, and the kiss had been pretty amazing. 

That was hot. Not.

"No. I'm trying not to come in my pants," Matty said. Thinking about Rob and a dildo had taken him to DEFCON 1 levels of arousal. 

Uh-huh. Horny, told you so. All. The. Time.

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Rob made a SOUND of FRUSTRATION and Matty was INSTANTLY HARD. 

See previous comment. Baba takes a deep breath. ---> Matty is instantly hard. Just kidding.

Rob pulled his fingers free and Matty lifted his ass, begging with his body, wanting to be fucked so badly he felt like he might gag on his desire.

I had to gag too but for other reasons.

(…)It's all Brokeback Mountain hotness here, you know."

"So, can I ride, Cowboy?"
"Giddy up," Rob said so incredibly seriously that Matty had to laugh.
 


Clichéd, much?

"Yes, and he has beautiful hands. His hands are like an opera."
(…)
"He's like Montana in man form, and he even taste like Montana. Like pure white snow on majestic mountains. He smells like clean water--"
(…)
"The bad poetry is killing me, honey. It's got to stop."
 


It's killing me too and I wholeheartedly agree.

*********************************

I wish I had listened to my gut instinct that told me not to read this book. Rob Lovely and Matty Marcus…that was a bad omen if I've ever heard one.
Well, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Training Season is a wolf in sheep's clothing--sort of. Something was really off when this story slithered from being syrupy sweet into the world of BDSM, and bad BDSM at that. It just felt wrong and totally inopportune.

Also, I'm absolutely clueless WHY these two would have felt attracted to each other in the first place. Well, that Matty would want to get f@cked by Mr. Montana personified might be understandable but Rob? A super duper gorgeous rancher is lusting after a (bitchy) bling bling diva who's wearing a mink, a handbag, and is running around like she he has swallowed a paint box? Excuse me, but that's probably wishful thinking. I might be wrong though but I honestly didn't feel "it."

I'm the first to admit that I prefer my men to be manly. Yet I'd like to point out that I really liked the effeminate Laurie, hero ofDance With Me very much. Also, I downright loved Logan, a supporting character of Six Degrees of Lust and Six Degrees of Separation. Despite Logan's fondness for makeup, he didn't act like a bitchy diva. Thanks for small favors. Also, when I feel the need to read about a bitchy woman (heroine), then I can read an M/F book. I don't want to deal with this kind of character in my M/M novels. Matty is narcissistic, bitchy, and needy with some serious hang-ups. I think he needs counseling and certainly not healing through enemas and BDSM. Also, she he lacks self-esteem and he has (view spoiler) Plus, he's got some snobbish tendencies. Yup, snobbish, because Missoula didn't provide enough shops that fit his high standard. Too bad, Matty boy, could you not find a cute Louis Vuitton handbag? *pets*

There was an instant animosity between Matty and I. No biggie though, since there was insta-lust and insta-love, the insta-animosity just added up nicely. In fact, I don't have to feel bad about it because Rob said:

"Give her time. Not everyone can fall in love with you at first sight like I did." 

Yeah, right. *snort*

The boring and mechanic sex left me absolutely cold. Being horny all the time doesn't equal chemistry. In my opinion these two shared ZERO chemistry. And the sex was neither scorching nor soul-quaking. Honestly, there is nothing soul-quaking when one dude is fucking the other one into the mattress and hits his ass with a quirt over and over again. You know somewhere along the line I just had enough of everybody being amazing and hot or blisteringly hot for that matter or everything being f@cking hot and amazing, yadda, yadda, yadda. Repetitiveness, much?

Between 38 % and 61 % I was bored out of my ever lovin' mind.

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Nope, that's not true. I don't have to make up shit to bitch about; the shit literally happened at 66 %. YIKES!!

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Rob inserted an enema in Matty's ass. Yeah, Matty was Rob'sgood boy and the fluid that filled Rob's ass and being in the tub on his hands and knees for Rob made him sooooo hot and amazing. Dafuck?!?!?!

"Your ass," Rob said, his voice deep and rough. "God, your ass." 

I actually expected him to make some whinny noises. After all, we're on a ranch in Montana. To make this very clear, I don't need to read about enemas in my romance novels. But the f@cking icing on the cake was what happened in great detail afterward:

He sat on the toilet seat…

He'd never had Rob sitting in front of him, holding his hands, and staring at his face as he held back the urge to let fouled enema water erupt from his ass. He'd never thought that Rob would want to see that, or that he'd expected to share such a disgusting, private moment.
(…)
"Why."
(…)
"Because I want it. That's all that matters right now. What I want. Not what you want or what you understand.
 
Yadda, yadda, yadda

He had to hold his shit for ten minutes.

As soon as "one" left Rob's mouth, Matty released. He stared at Rob's face, a flood of hot embarrassment rolling through him as the water purged from his bowels. He felt a flicker of anger deep down wanting to roar into a flame, a rage and a rebelliousness that wanted to tear up into the moment, spit in Rob's face, and tell him to fuck off.
But Matty held it down, tamped it back, and concentrated on showing Rob whatever he wanted to see. If that was this moment, right now, vulnerable and gross on the toilet, then he'd let Rob have that, dammit. Fine. Fuck him. And just as soon as he surrendered the anger, he felt something inside himself break and HEAL.
 
*really, really serious headdesk moment*

That disgusting crap doesn't fly with me, sweetheart!

F@ck me sideways, I had to read that shit twice to be sure I hadn't imagined anything I just read. HEALING through shittin' in front of your partner!?!?! WTF? I had to stop eating my breakfast because I was ready to throw up. This was the moment when Training Season was down to 0 stars.

After the enema Rob bound Matty to the bed and hit his ass, balls and legs with a quirt over and over again before he f@cked him senseless. Cowboys used that thing for thick-skinned animals like cows. Ouch.

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Matty was totally delirious...
"Offisher," and then, "Yesh, offisher, I'm okay."

"Are you hurting, Matty?" Rob asked, his lashes shading his eyes.
"Yes, " Matty whispered.
"Is it really bad?"
Matty choked on a small sob and nodded.
 


It's time to move on because I need to bleach my brain and...

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That's all.

**********************************

Oh, wait, I'm not quite done yet. I've read a very interesting blog post. Please check out Romanticising BDSM and Review Backlash 

http://steelwhisper.wordpress.com/201...

I’m sure that every author is aware of the fact that their published books are open to criticism. And in light of a recent blog post I’d like to point out that I will continue to state my honest opinion about every book that I’ll be reading in the future. One pissed off author doesn’t impress me in the least and I have no intention whatsoever to change my way of reviewing the books I’m reading. When I love a book I will say so and when I don’t enjoy a story I will clearly outline WHY the book didn’t work out for me. To be very clear, I didn’t savage a perfectly good book just for having kinks I don’t enjoy. That statement pissed me right the hell off. Even without the (view spoiler) and the toilet play this book was average at best. 

Your Kink is Not My Kink But Your Kink is OK

Sure, that specific kink about toilet play is definitely Not My Kink But Your Kink is OK. That’s fine. On the other hand, I don’t need anyone’s permission to say I don’t like that kink! And even more so because I couldn’t find a warning when I read the blurb. Truth be told, I was reluctant to give Training Season a try and ultimately I read it based on one glowing review but also because I saw the book popping up in my GR feed all the time. So, here I stand, very surprised, a bit shocked and completely disgusted in the aftermath of what I’ve been reading. It’s perfectly fine by me that this reviewer loved the book and gushed about it. BUT. I have a right to voice my opinion and I thought SINCE WE ARE ALL ADULTS WE CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE. Also, if I had known about that enema and the crap about shittin’ in front of the boyfriend--I assure you--I would never have touched that book with a ten-foot bamboo cane. Plus, the (view spoiler)is clearly an aspect of the book that bothered me as well. I’m not stupid, I can use my common sense. And it's obvious that this kind of BDSM practice is not what I call sane, safe and consensual. What Rob did was dangerous and ill-advised.

Besides, we all know how easily people can be influenced by the written word. Yes, this is fiction but it can turn into reality in no time flat when readers try to imitate that kink. I don’t know the US law but what had been the consequences if a couple would engage in (view spoiler) that would have resulted with someone harmed? I suppose the “abuser” would have to face possible criminal charges. Matty did not (view spoiler) Rob simply manipulated him and took advantage of the situation. While we’re on it I must get something else off my chest. The ever-present talk in BDSM books about connecting with your partner’s soul or soul-shattering, soul-quaking events or whatnot is honestly overdone too and most of the time it’s totally ridiculous. I think that only very few authors are actually skilled enough to pull that off and I clearly did not buy that in Training Season. I don’t need to practice BDSM to look beyond a character’s face or body. Yet I could never connect with neither Matty nor Rob. One of my favorite authors is someone who writes and practices BDSM. So, you see, I’m definitely not a BDSM hater, and I sure as hell don’t read BDSM books just so I can post a rant. As a matter of fact, a few of my all-time favorite books are BDSM-themed stories.

In consequence, it is incredibly important that authors add a disclosure to their blurb. I want to know about the toilet play. I want to know about a (view spoiler) It’s also necessary to address the fact that Matty is wearing a mink. I don’t want to turn this review in a political statement or start a discussion about livestock breeding. Still, I would never wear a fur for reasons I don’t need to spell out for you because we know what happens to those poor animals. On the other hand, Matty wearing a mink wasn’t reason enough to DNF the book, it was “only” another reason to downgrade Training Season. Long story short, an author could avoid many negative reviews just by adding a proper warning. Baba not touching that book with a ten-foot bamboo cane simply means there is one rant less on Goodreads. I’m very careful and I don’t read every hyped book because I know myself very well. What others love isn’t a guarantee that I will love the same book.

And last but not least I’ll make damn sure to never touch a bookwith a ten-foot bamboo cane that has been written by Amelia C. Gormley. I’m sorry but that bamboo cane kind of stuck with me. Come to think of it I might need to delve deeper into my psych and do some serious evaluation. Maybe I have some hidden masochistic tendencies and need a severe caning to be able to undergo a soul-quaking and life-changing experience because…darn…it might help me to understand the healing and cathartic message of Training Season.

Now I’m done bitchin’.

 

 

If you'd like to read the spoilers then check out the GR link below.

Source: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/785343487?utm_medium=email&utm_source=rating