Reading is like breathing...

0 stars. DNF at 50 %. Review completed January 19, 2014



In a nutshell: Clichéd and shallow to the nth. Cheesy cardboard writing. The heroine is an annoying cow and the hero isn't anyone to write home about either.

I will deliberately refrain from dropping the f-bomb or any other filthy language in my review except for a few gifs because Lexi's filthy mouth is bad enough.

As I saw it, the plot was all over the place in the beginning of the story. Lexi picks Matt up at the airport and the cheese starts to flow. FYI, Matt is not the hero.

"Sorry, Lexi." His low gravelly voice caressed my name, sending a shiver right to my core. "I'm Matt," he crooned, his smooth accent rolling off his tongue like morning dew off my windscreen. 

I'm stunned that Lexi is still alive after having endured so many shocks of electricity.

I pulled my hand away from a shock of electricity and spun on my heel, leading him (Matt not Alex) to the parking garage walkway. 

And a couple hours later she's already daydreaming when she hears his voice behind her. No, scratch that. She wanted to jump his bones before she even met him. 

"A truer word never spoken" I heard it from over my shoulder…that voice! I didn't need to turn around as I could see from Anna's wide-eyed expression and open jaw that Matt was standing directly behind me. Mmmmm I'd love for him to take me from behind, feel his strong arms reaching around and pulling me close to his strong athletic frame. "Mind if I join you ladies? he continued, oblivious to my hardening nipples beneath my jacket. 

And then later on Matt turns her down and that pisses poor Lexi off.

"Why, is there something wrong with me? Are you not attracted to me?" I shot back indignantly.
(…)
Anger once again flared inside me, I was not used to rejection (Baba: Get used to it, bitch.) I was not a MISTAKE, nor would I ever be. How dare he! (Baba: How dare you? Ugh.) It had been a long time since a man had turned me down. (Baba: Someone should bitch-slap you. Any volunteers? Take me, take me.)



I was actually beginning to wonder when I would be meeting the "hero" for the first time. Would he be as disastrous as Lexi? Unfortunately, he didn't accomplish to make my panties wet. Then again I couldn't have cared less. 

At 23 % Lexi sets her eyes for the first time on Alex. Within seconds the juice starts to flow.

I felt myself shiver with excitement just from the intonation of his voice. He could make me come just by looking at me; I could already feel my panties getting moist.
"I'm Lexi" was all I could manage. (Baba: It's too bad when your wet panties accomplish to deactivate your brain cells. Tsk-tsk...)
"Lexi. Well, it is a pleasure." He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. My insides quivered. Seriously, is it possible to achieve an orgasm just from a kiss? 'Cause I was pretty close right now. 

Seriously?

Of course his face is astonishingly handsome.

Before Lexi met Alex there was a life and death situation and good ole Lexi had to contemplate how sexy the dude is. Did he work out at the gym? Come on! It's not realistic. *insert major eye roll moment*

******************************

"As for your generous compensation I can also assure you that I have never nor will I ever be anyone's WHORE so do NOT treat me like one," I barked. 

I quote another one word for word.

"Oh I understand perfectly Asshole. I can see your posturing a mile away. I have been in this game a lot longer than you think. This is where you whip out your dick to show me how BIG it is…like that is supposed to intimate me." 

Or this…

"So you need to deal with me directly from now on because I will not speak to this disrespectful motherfucker any longer, and if this doesn't suit you - then you can go fuck yourself. The whole lot of you can GO FUCK YOURSELVES." My disappointment at this insulting behavior of my idols was fueling my anger and I knew I was being over the top but I just couldn't stop.
"Lexi, I didn't know…this isn't from us...Sol?! What the fuck man??" James was clearly confused about how this had played out but was quickly catching up. He grabbed my arm to try and hinder my exit. 



Wow, I can't believe that she's a very successful employee. Lexi, before you open your filthy mouth you should try and start being a little bit more diplomatic. Activate your brain, think, do some research to clarify things and then speak like a civilized person. Lexi swears, spats, barks, growls, breaths, purrs, snarls, snaps, pouts etc. like a world champion.

Let me get something off my chest. A heroine who's swearing like a sailor isn't strong. If anything, she seems to gloss over her insecurities. She obviously needs to make up for other shortcomings regarding her character by opening her filthy mouth at all times. Lexi is blunt, crude, vulgar and choleric as all get out and completely unlikable. I should stab her with a needle and then she would deflate instantly like an old, wrinkled balloon. Excuse me for being blunt myself but she's an irritating and stupid cow who wouldn't find her brain cells in the darkness if several flashlights would shine on her. Lexi lacks some serious class. Plus, she's very fixated on physical appearances. She knows that she isn't ugly and yet she can't believe that she's beautiful. Of course she needs to work out harder cos she isn't satisfied with her hot body either. Lexi, get over your hang-ups already and I'd appreciate it if you could shut down your giggling. It's getting on my last nerve.

It had been fast and frenzied and I'd never had sex fully clothed before. It was HOT. I pulled down my hem. 



What a revelation. Do I care? Nope. BTW, poorly written sex scenes are a turn-off.


I'm not a native English speaker, yet it is very obvious that A Twist of Fate needs major proofreading and editing. Someone needs to take care of spelling errors, missing words etc. Two examples: intimate me should be intimidate me and barley should be barely. And what's up with all those multiple exclamation marks (i.e. FUCK YOU!!!) and question marks (What the hell?? Was he gay??) and all those words written in capitals (i.e. HATE, FUCK, FUCK YOU, INSANE, KNOW, WHORE, NOT) and weird noises like Mmmmmm…Aghhhhhh…Aggghhhhhh, Ahhhh…Ahhhh, Uggghhhhhh, Ooooh, Ohhhhhh baby…ahhhhh? Basically there are way too many exclamation marks. All those things are very distracting and downright irritating.

Reading this book was a very bad twist of fate and a waste of my precious time because nothing appealed to me. Once again my bum secured itself another window seat in BoredomVille. Add in the fact that we took a turn into Sugarville as well and I might be inclined to place a standing order. Not. The author's writing is extremely amateurish and stilted. Lucky me, I got it for free. Looking at the very high average rating, A Twist of Fate goes straight on my shelf books-everyone-loved-but-baba. Read at your own risk.